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RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.
Battle in my MindEat.
    Don't eat.
Take it easy.
        Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
            Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
                You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
                    You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
                        They don't understand.
Let me help you.
                            You don't understand.
Show me.
                                No!
I love you..
                                   
WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.
Ode to the boy with diamonds for eyesI think we were a collision course waiting to happen
And when I think back to the day when we first
Stumbled across one another, red sneakers hanging off gutters
Cherry cola voice overs and dilated pupils
We led one another on to believe in the night sky of connect the dot constellations

You wanted to dissect me and peer into the insides of my lungs
Only to find witches breath and dandelions
Slicing iron vowels you locked your hands in mine
And we fell into the static of dreaming disease
The operating table broke away to reveal a sky that never existed
And we couldn't help but laugh at the irony
Because wishing was never an option
The ane
In The Daylight
In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat
Our MasksThe masks we wear are perfect
Never loose and rarely tight
They keep us safe from others
And keep our demons out of sight

They smile when we are broken
And laugh when we simply must
No blemish or imperfection
A creation that will never rust.

I seldom ever remember
Who I am without my mask
That to peel off that layer
Is such a daunting task

All others carry one as well
Wherever they may go
And no matter what is on their minds
Only the molded mask will show.

The lies they preach in public
Or the scars along their wrists
Are left mute to others knowledge
Ignorance is such a splendid gift

My mask is oh so perfect
Not a crack will show
Alway
wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.
We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.
 
It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.
 
We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.
 
There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so
LonelyLonely.
Unnoticed.
People don't even look
when they walk by.
Always ignored...
Nobody even asks my ideas,
my opinion.
Nobody even knows
who I am.
When people see me,
they either ignore me,
or ask a question:
"Who are you?"
But they don't even bother
to listen to my response:
"I'm Canada."
Forgotton.
Forgotton by everyone.
Forgotton by my friends, my allies.
Maybe one day
Someone will remember my name.
Canada.
Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.
One special personEveryone leaves you.
Everyone gives up.
Everyone stops loving you, and stops believing in you, and stops caring about you.
Everyone will say something to hurt you.
Everyone will eventually agree with you when you say “I feel worthless”.
And everyone will eventually say something about you.
And everyone will hurt you intentionally.
Everyone leaves you.
And everyone gives up.

But one person, one special person
Will never leave you.
Will never give up on you.
Will never stop loving you, and never stop believing in you, and never stop caring about you.
Never say anything to hurt you.
Never let you say “I feel worthless”,
Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop
Lost In ConfusionLost In Confusion

My mind is spinning without a rest
Emotions whirl and twirl around
A merry-go-round gaining speed
Until the world blurrs before my eyes
What's happening? What's going on?

The simplest thought slips away
Right from my mind, fading so fast
Trying to focus, I stare and stare
Until my eyes are heavy and unclear.
I don't understand, what is going on..

Emotions rise and fall again
Within the blink of an eye
I'm crying, laughing, and depressed
A roller-coaster ride that never ends
Am I losing my mind in this?

I try to close my eyes and rest
But the world spins me around
I feel like I am failing this test
Voices and noises echo
Deactivatedthere are voids and black holes
and wounds,
papercuts sinking deep into
finger fissures
only to meet the unmarred love
of bones, strong and
bare and pure.

dark oceans are bleached
into tears that leave nothing
but sea salt in my lips

and my words are injustice
to the death of
your poetry.

this is me
drowning,
trying to be
you

trying to preserve the ardor
of your words
and the honey sweet taste
of your passion

it's also
how my lungs work
(when I don't read something from you
I die more than a little on the inside).
You Are BlindYou see a picture.
A girl with a smile on her face.

She looks beautiful.
She wasn't going anyway fancy.
But she wore her black make up.
And her brand new top.

But that isn't what I see...

Look a little closer...
Can't you see the tears that have just been wiped away?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see her right fist clenched,
Fumbling for her over strap bag?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see the left hand grip her long sleeve for dear life?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see her mind is running with thoughts tonight?

Look a little closer...
And maybe you'd have seen the warning signs....
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More from ~MisplacedFox

Journal EntryHello- it's me!

Once I was weak and brittle,
                     then you happened.

Take! Take! Take!

That was you,
                 offering nothing to me.
   
Thanks!

I came from so much,
                        to only do so little.

Shame!

Now I sit wondering,
       

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dark, black, art

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January 6, 2011
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The Fighting Darkness

:iconmisplacedfox:

The darkness is returning as I sit in my light
I have chased it away once
The darkness always returns
It is only a matter of time
Will I stand my ground or will I succumb

The darkness folds me into its embracing arms
Cradling me like I was a child again
Curling into a fetal position I can hear the pulse of its desire
I don't think I am strong enough this time
I can feel it pawing even gnawing for my return
My tears burn through my pain
Giving no relief to pleasure of torture

It churns in my belly
It drips into my brain
It slithers through my veins
Spreading its dark infection
My light of will is fading
Into the shadows of the consuming darkness
It has found me again

Inner demons roaring to life
Smashing my sanity into bits
Tearing my heart into four
Devouring all but one part
The part that stayed as its home

Laughing as it encompass my thoughts
Stealing my serenity of sobriety in light
The darkness dancing it fingers across my brain
Tasting my matter
Taunting me with trickery
Promises that I'll be fine
Inner demons spreading their infection

It's laugh of victory
Oh that fighting darkness
I never felt so alive as when it is free
Free to play, to disease, to roam it's home
Me!
:iconmisplacedfox:
What does this mean to you?
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:icondeathuriel:
~DeathUriel Jul 13, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful how you treat your addicion like an inner demon... I am glad to know you aren't like this anymore... ^^
Reply
:iconmisplacedfox:
~MisplacedFox Jul 13, 2011
yes many lost days that had to filled in by others
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:icontantio:
~Tantio Mar 24, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:o_O: Great way of telling. I can see it right before me eyes (Oh wait I can't, it's dark :p)
So what does this mean to me? It's something I ran away of, but it came to take me back.
Nowhere is safe, no place to hide. When it infects it leaves me dark and laughing (yet I cry at my one place, for what I'm going to do). It never happened
But It does resemble the concept of my short story D.O.G.S.? in that way
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:iconmisplacedfox:
~MisplacedFox Mar 25, 2011
bahahaha...

I will have a look at D.O.G.S.

BTW- thanks for reading it, nowhere is safe, no place to hide because it is living in you(me) and consumes you(me)
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:icontheblackwolfboy:
~TheBlackWolfBoy Feb 1, 2011   Writer
Sounds like drugs to me, I had friends that described addiction kinda like this...I like it very much :)
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